Marriage And Wedding 4

1. THE PENITENCE OF ONE WHO HAS SEX DURING MENSES

Whoever is overcome by desire and has sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating and before she becomes clean must give the value of one dinar's weight of gold or about 4.25 grams (4.2315 to be more precise), or half that amount. This is based on a hadith narrated by 'Abdullaah ibn 'Abbaas from the Prophet in relation to one who enters his wife while she is on her period as follows: "Let him give one dinar in charity, or one half dinar." [At-Tirmidhee, Abu Dawood, At-Tabaraani and others: Saheeh].

2. WHAT IS PERMISSIBLE WHEN SHE IS ON HER PERIODS

It is allowed for him to enjoy pleasure with his wife in any way except for her private parts when she is on her period. There are several hadiths about this:

First: "and do everything except intercourse itself." [Muslim, Abu 'Auwaana and Aboo Daawood]

Second: On the authority of 'Aa'ishah who said: "When we were on our periods, the Prophet used to order us to put on a waist cloth that her husband can then lie with her." One time she said: "... her husband can then fondle and caress her." [al-Bukhaaree, Muslims and others].

Third: On the authority of one of the wives of the Prophet who said: "When the Prophet wanted something from one of his wives who was on her period, he put a cloth over her private parts, and then did whatever he wanted." [Abo Daawood: Saheeh]

3.  WHEN IS IT ALLOWED TO RESUME SEXUAL ACTIVITY AFTER MENSES?

When she becomes clean of any menstrual blood, and the flow stops completely, it is allowed for them to resume sexual activity after she washes the place where the blood had been, or performs wudhuu', or takes a complete bath. Whichever of these three alternatives she does makes it allowed for them to resume sexual activity, based on Allaah's statement in the Qur'an:

"But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean." [Al-Baqarah 2:222]

This is the position of Ibn Hazm, 'Ataa, Qatadah, al-Awzaa'ee and Daawud az-Zaahiree and of Mujaahid: as Ibn Hazm says: "All three of these are a purification - so whichever of them she uses after the cessation of her periods, then she is lawful for her husband."

The same term is used to mean washing the private parts in the Aayah revealed

concerning the people of Qubaa:

"In it are men who love to be purified; and Allah loves those who make themselves pure." [at-Tawbah 9:108]

There is nothing here in the Aayah however, or in the Sunnah, to restrict the Aayah in question to any of the three meanings - and to do so requires a further proof.

4. THE LAWFULNESS OF COITUS INTERRUPTUS

(Withdrawl of the penis from the vagina at the time of ejaculation with the purpose of avoiding impregnation. This can be done only with the permission of one's wife). It is allowed for a Muslim man to practise coitus interruptus with his wife. There are several hadith about this:

First: On the authority of Jaabir who said: "We were practising coitus interruptus, and the Qur'an was being revealed." [al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]. In another version, he said: "We used to practise coitus interruptus in the lifetime of the Prophet. This reached the Prophet, and he did not prohibit us from doing it." [Muslim, an-Nasaa'ee and at-Tirmidhee].

Second: On the authority of Abu Sa'eed al-Khudhriy, who said: "A man came to the Prophet and said: "I have a young girl (right-hand possession), and I practise coitus interruptus with her. I want that which men want, but the Jews claim that coitus interruptus is minor infanticide." The Prophet said: "The Jews have lied, the Jews have lied. If Allaah wished to create a child, you would not be able to prevent it." [An- Naasaa'ee in al-'Ishrah: Abu Dawood and others: Saheeh].

Third: On the authority of Jaabir, a man came to the Prophet and said: "I have a slavegirl who serves us and waters our date trees. Sometimes I go to her, but I dislike that she should become pregnant by me". The Prophet said: "use coitus interruptus if you like, but whatever has been ordained for her will come." After some time, the man again came to the Prophet and said: "She has become pregnant!" The Prophet (Salla Allahu 'Alayhee wa Sallam) told him: "I told you that whatever has been ordained for her will come." [Muslim, Abu Dawood and others].