Marriage And Wedding 3

1. MAKING WUDHUU'' AFTER SEX AND BEFORE SLEEPING

It is best for husband and wife not to sleep after having sex until they first perform wudhuu'. There are various hadith about this, among them:

First: On the authority of 'Aa'shah who said: "Whenever the Prophet wished to sleep or eat while in a state of Janaba (i.e. after having sex and before bathing), he would wash his private parts and perform wudhuu' as for prayer." [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim].

Second: On the authority of Ibn 'Umar who said: "O Messenger of Allah, should we go to sleep in a state of janaba?" The Prophet answered: "Yes, after making wudhuu." [Al- Bukhaaree and Muslim]. In another version: "Perform wudhuu' and wash your private parts, and then sleep." [Al -Bukhaaree and Muslim]. And, in another version: "Yes, you can perform wudhuu', sleep, and bathe whenever you want." [Muslim and al-Baihaqi]. And, in still another version: "Yes, and perform wudhuu' if you wish." (This last version proves that this wudhuu' is not obligatory.) [Ibn Khuzima and Ibn Hibban: Saheeh].

Third: On the authority of 'Ammaar ibn Yaasir, the Prophet said: "There are three which the angels will never approach: The corpse of a disbeliever; a man who wears perfume of women; and, one who has had sex until he performs wudhuu'." [Abu Dawood, Ahmad and others: Hasan].

2.  THE RULING OF THIS WUDHUU''

This wudhuu' is not obligatory, but is very highly and definitely commendable. This (i.e. its not being obligatory) is based on the hadith narrated by 'Umar in which he asked the Prophet: "Should we go to sleep in a state of janaba?" To which the Prophet answered: "Yes, and perform wudhuu' if you wish." [Ibn Hibbaan: Saheeh]. This is also supported by other hadith, among them a hadith narrated by 'Aa'ishah who said: "The Prophet used to sleep in a state of janaba without having touched water, until he would get up later and bathe." [Ibn Abi Shaiba, at-Tirmidhee, Abu Daawood and others: Saheeh].

In another version narrated by 'Aa'ishah , she said: ""He used to spend the night in a state of janaba until Bilal came in the morning to make the adhaan. Then, he would get up, bathe while I looked at the water dripping from his head, and go out. Then, I would hear his voice in the Fajr prayer. Then, he would remain fasting." Mutarrif said: "I said to Aamir: In the month of Ramadhaan?" He said: "Yes, in Ramadhaan and in other than Ramadhaan." [Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmad and others: Saheeh].

3.  MAKING TAYAMMUM IN A STATE OF JANABA INSTEAD OF WUDHUU''

It is also permissible to make Tayammum sometimes instead of wudhuu' before sleeping. This is based on a hadith of 'Aa'ishah in which she said: "When the Prophet was in a state of janaba and wished to sleep, he used to make wudhuu' or Tayammum." [Al- Baihaqi: Hasan]

4. BATHING BEFORE SLEEPING IS PERFERABLE

Bathing however, is perferable to any of the above- mentioned possibilities as is clear in the hadith of `Abullaah ibn Qais who said: "I asked 'Ai'ishah : "What did the Prophet do when in a state of janaba? Did he bathe before sleeping or sleep before bathing?" She answered: "He did all of those things. Sometimes he bathe and then slept. And sometimes he performed wudhuu' and then slept." I said: "Praise be to Allah whomade things flexible." [Muslim, Ahmad and Abu `Auwaana].

5. THE PROHIIBITION OF SEX WHEN SHE IS MENSTRUATING

It is forbidden for a Muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating. This is clear in the following verse of the Qur'an:

"They ask thee concerning women's courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean." [Al-Baqarah, 2:222]

There are also hadith about this, among them:

First: "Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad."

Second: On the authority of Anas ibn Malik, who said: "When one of their women has their period, the Jews used to put her out of the house, and they would not eat, drink, or sleep with her in the house. The Prophet was asked about this, and Allaah revealed the verse:

"They ask thee concerning women's courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution: so keep away from women in their courses, ...

Then the Prophet said: "Be with them in the house, and do everything except for intercourse itself." The Jews said: "This man wants to leave nothing which we do without doing something different." Then, Asyad ibn Hudair said: "O Messenger of Allah, verily the Jews says such-and-such, shoudl we not then have sexual intercourse during menstruation?" The Prophet's face changed such that they thought that he was enraged with them, so they left. As they were coming out, they saw a gift of milk being brought to the Prophet. The Prophet then sent someone after them to give them a drink of milk, so they felt that he was not actually angry with them." [Muslim, Abu 'Auwaana and Abu Daawood].